Saturday, 25 January 2014

Not So Fearless, Really

When I started this blog my idea was to challenge myself to do more, to explain to anyone interested how I did it (and the mistakes I made) and above all to get back in the habit of writing. I love to write. It's enormous fun.
I've written a fair few tutorial things and had a super time doing it. But I've only done one thing that scared me - applying for Women in Radio -  and that went so well my whole view of my future changed.

Perhaps it is time to step up and do more.

Believing that most things are better when you have a list, I'd better get organised. There are things I don't like, things I am scared of, stuff I truly believe I can't do, things I had a bad experience of when I was younger and never returned to, things I'd love to do but think I'd fail at, things that seem too hard - or awkward, or just plain un-fun - for me.

Here goes:


  • Reading Lord of the Flies
  • Reading any Russian novels
  • Reading William Gibson and knowing what on earth it means
  • Eating anything aniseedy
  • Eating meat
  • Keeping my opinion to myself (!!)
  • Watching a scary film
  • Playing a video game
  • Having a driving lesson
  • Taking guitar lessons
  • Learning to quilt
  • Knitting something other than a scarf
  • Making something I could wear
  • Writing a will
  • Giving up wine
  • Finding an exercise I don't hate
  • Losing weight
  • Keeping the house clean - actually CLEAN - for more than 12 hours
  • Doing daily exercise for a month
  • Having more than a handful of friends read my blog (although I am very grateful to you all!)
  • Saying No to a favour without prevaricating
  • Trying a singing lesson
  • Writing an essay
  • Writing a short story, even if I never show it to anyone
  • Travelling to somewhere other than the First World
  • Going somewhere I don't speak even a smidge of the language
  • Go fishing - I'd love to do this but I am also squeamish of the aftermath

Hmm. Not quite the fearless woman I like to pretend to be.

Some of those things won't happen: too expensive, too difficult or taking more time than I currently have spare. I'm unlikely to take up driving just now because we don't have the cash. Snap for foreign travel. And a scary film... I get nightmares. Shocking ones. I wake up sobbing and terrified like a small child. I'm not sure I'm up to a scary film.

I just typed out reasons not to do most of the things on that list, actually, but deleted them. Of course I have many reasons not to do them - they are the things I shy away from. I've spent years justifying why I shouldn't do them. But that's hardly in keeping with my goal to try stuff.

So, what now? Where should I start?


  1. There are quite a few there that are on my (unwritten) list too...but why (speaking as someone who *has* to do them) do you feel you ought to write an essay? What purpose would it serve? I mean I know what purpose essay-writing has in it just to prove to yourself that you could if you wanted to?

    1. Yes, it's proving to myself I could, I expect.

  2. Great list! I would choose one, and I think writing and essay is a great idea. I am not sure why we write so many essays while students and then never again. I am not sure what you would do with the essay, but think it is a great idea.

  3. Save cleaning the house until the children leave home. You'll have plenty of time and it won't get messy again quite so quickly.

  4. Go somewhere I don't speak a smidge of the language - that's a cool one! Lee and I went on a day trip to Italy on our honeymoon (from France). We got off the coach in Aosta, everyone else disappeared, we had no currency (before the euro) and not a clue where to go, the street signs meant nothing to us, we were ravenous and the streets were deserted...

  5. Trying again after the interwebs ate my comment......

    Quilting is easy, just let me know when. - Are you brave enough to cut up those hedgehogs?

    1. More than brave enough, Liz! I'm all for cutting up anything except my Liberty print.
      I think quilting will be my project for next term, when my evenings and weekends are less full of baking jobs. Does that sound ok to you?

  6. I spotted a bit of a theme there; "Finding an exercise I don't hate, doing daily exercise for a month and losing weight." Why don't you try a new form of exercise every day/week? Then you could write about it - which would please your writing self. And that's another great way to get more people reading your blog.
    Of course, I would say that wouldn't I as exercise is one of my things. But I'd be happy to help with suggestions and plans.

    1. Ok, you're on.
      Drop me an email and we'll sort out a plan?