To the half century.. and beyond!

Nearly 3 years ago I wrote a list of happiness-inspiring things I'd like to try before the end of the year I turn 50. It all seemed reassuringly far away, I had loads of time to do it all. 
2 years ago I updated my progress, and then completely forgot about it.
Last week my mother-inlaw reminded me of my list, and asked if there was anything on it she could facilitate as my birthday present.
I'm 50 in 3 weeks.
Better get my damned skates on.

Here's the list, which I could add to as I found new things I wanted to do. Those I've done are highlighted with white:

Venice is incredible.

1. Go fishing  
2. See the Giant's Causeway - Still haven't arranged it
3. Try salsify and Jerusalem artichokes
4. Go rock pooling again - somehow the opportunity hasn't arisen
5. Sing in a choir - I'm a wuss. Nearly gone to 5 different ones and always bottle it
6. Grow cut flowers 
7. See live music 
8. Visit Hadrian's Wall 
9. Spend all day at the movies  
10. Learn to apply make up properly 
11. See the Northern Lights 
12. Go whale-watching 
13. Learn a new range of cooking 
14. Sew something I can wear  
15. See a new ballet company 
16. Learn to play a song on an instrument 
17. Go birdwatching on the Farne Islands 
18. Return to Paris 
19. Cook a decent roast dinner 
20. Build sandcastles - not done that in ages, and I like it
21. See Venice while it's still there
22. See at least one of the birds on my most wanted list 
23. Visit Petra - never going to happen, but it's the ancient wonder I'd most like to see
24. Start another business
25. Find a fossil

Each of those I have done has given me such a sense of achievement or pleasure. Seeing a Bearded Tit (keep your sniggering to yourself) at St Aiden's wildlife park the other week had me grinning for days - such a tiny bird, and so glorious! Venice was beyond my expectation of beauty and impossibility. Except for the eating of octopi it was perfection itself. (Octopi are probably smarter than we are. It's rude to eat them.)

weeks of sweetpea bouquets

I'm so glad Mark's mum reminded of my list.

Moving forward, I've found a workshop to achieve No.14 at the charming Hello Workshop in May. If I can make myself a T shirt someday I might be able to make myself jersey tunics, and I LOVE tunics.

M's parents are kindly treating me to a train ticket and ticket to see the Royal Ballet in Covent Garden - WOW! - so I can achieve No.15 as well as seeing one of my favourite ballets, Romeo and Juliet.  I'm ridiculously excited at the prospect.

My parents generously offered money for a trip.  I'm clearly horrendously middle aged as I decided I'd rather use it getting new stuff for the garden. Isn't that a lowering thought? It's true though; I spend all my daylight hours outside once the weather is half decent and eat most of my meals in the garden. Replacing our rickety, collapsing table and chairs with something better will give me many more hours of happiness than a weekend break, even if I were visiting the Giant's Causeway or Lisbon or somewhere else wonderful. Being in my marvellous garden is my easiest source of happiness. It's often scruffy but it's wonderful.

Obviously the trickiest is to start another business. I loved being self-employed, and I would be delighted to be so again. I need to think of something I can offer that other people would pay me to do. I'd say 'watch this space' but I feel I'd leave you hanging a good while.

What should I tackle next? 

The music? I have access to a ukulele, guitar, recorder, keyboard and clarinet, but can't play any of them.  Probably the wisest "play a song" route is the uke or the keyboard. 

Finding a veggie/fish - friendly roast dinner to prepare? Mark always does the roasts here. I prefer non-English food myself (if it doesn't start with garlic, why even bother?) so I've not been motivated to learn to do a roast properly with all the trimmings. Actually, asking Mark to teach me how to do it would be fun, we like cooking together... until I remember how critical he is of my knife skills and that I inevitably tell him to sod off about it. 

Perhaps not.

Planning a day at the seaside for rock pooling and castle building is easy enough - I just need the seasons to turn. I'll put a reminder in my diary and arrange it.

The movie one needs a confluence of events - enough films I'm interested in out at the same time, and not at a manic time of year like Christmas. We used to love our 3-movie days, in our pre-kids life. There are very few mainstream movies of the 90s I haven't seen, unless you include horror. (Remember, I'm a wuss) It would be a lot of fun to ditch being responsible and binge watch films in a cinema again.

So, newly inspired to seek out my adventures and about to hit my half century, I'm making plans. I'm not going to stay inside, letting my anxieties dictate the pace of my life. Spring is here and it's time to grow up and grow onwards.

I'd really appreciate any suggestions or advice, my lovelies. It's a big world and I do get a bit daunted.

Accentuate the positive

In July last year I started a list of happy and interesting things I'd like to do before January 1st 2020 - i.e. before the end of the year that Mark and I turn 50.  I have been thinking about other things I want to add to my list. This is about inspiring me, making me happy, stuff.  I'm not after a scary challenge but a "gosh I'm glad I did that!"  

Like the worst of list cheats I'm adding two things I've already done and can tick off instantly.  That isn't as audacious as it sounds - I mentioned it in the first draft of the list as something unattainable. Thanks to my amazing parents, it became attainable; they gave me a weekend in Tromso, Norway and I could fulfil a lifelong dream to see the aurora, and do whale-watching too. I'm astonishingly lucky.

Here's how my list of things to do stands so far:

1. Go fishing  - Woo hoo! Did this at the end of last summer 
2. See the Giant's Causeway - I'm making plans, hope to do it either July or the Autumn.
3. Try salsify and Jerusalem artichokes -  Still not tried them. They are in season in winter, so that's one for later.
4. Go rock pooling - Definitely a summer activity
5. Sing in a choir - I admit, I bottled it. Was absolutely going to do it and panicked. I'm a wuss.
6. Grow cut flowers - Some setbacks here - slugs had my seedlings and Mark accidentally dumped a mound of compost on my freesia bulbs, but I have a few other irons in the fire. - Update: masses of sweetpeas and sweet william, enough for numerous bunches per week. Hurray!
7. See live music -  I did this! With mates and neighbours, we went to the OnRoundhay festival as a family and saw James. They were fantastic. Of course they were. 
8. Visit Hadrian's Wall - Done!
9. Spend all day at the movies - Not done this yet.
10. Learn to apply make up properly - Thanks to my fantastic mate Heather-in-London, I've got a makeup look that works for me. She gave me links to tutorials and product recommendations, and was so amazing and supportive. Heather is a beauty product guru, as well as one of the best parents and most thoughtful people I know. She's as generous with her knowledge as she is with her time (Apparently, I have sexy hooded eyes, like Lauren Bacall and Ava Gardiner. Go me!)
11. See the Northern Lights - TICK! Best thing imaginable.
12. Go whale-watching - Also TICK! A morning watching a pod of orca hunt for herring before a night chasing Aurora Borealis. What a day.
13. Learn a new range of cooking - North African, Middle Eastern, Indian or Thai would be my thoughts but I'm flexible. I've learnt to make ramen recently and I want to expand to incorporate other dishes. NOT European food, though, because I understand the flavours of that already. Learning from Sabrina to make a curry was one of my favourite days, and it's time I tried to level up my culinary skills. Update: Thanks to Made in India by Meera Sodha I have a number of Indian meals I can make
14. Sew something I can wear - This is all about fear and ineptitude. One day I'll manage it. I'm such a wuss. I can't even cut into nice fabric. I have an almost-finished dress I was working on when I lost my job and I just couldn't face doing it again.
15. See a new ballet company - I see New Adventures and Northern Ballet regularly, and English Ballet occasionally but Id like to experience another dance company. I may seek advice on that.
16. Learn to play a song on an instrument - Even if it's Happy Birthday on the recorder, I want to play an actual song on something again. I have re-strung Mark's ukulele to make it left-handed and am thus far rubbish. I can only improve.
17. Go Birdwatching on the Farne Islands - This is Springwatch's fault. I'd love to see in person the remarkable sea bird colonies they've shown me on the telly.
18. Return to Paris - After the holiday from hell 9 years ago when Zach and Bonnie had a stomach bug and I was washing bedding and clothes every single day of the trip, I can't think of Paris without a shudder. Mark, who was NOT the one dealing with an exploding toddler morning and night, has incredibly fond memories of the holiday. I need to nice experience to banish the vile one. Update: It turns out Paris is still fantastic. 
19. Cook a decent roast dinner - OK, this one is scary, because I don't cook or eat big slabs of meat and I think a roast dinner is all about the roast itself. However, I feel there is a veggie alternative out there I could work with, and surely it's not The Law that the vegetables are boring. It seems a skill all competent cooks here should have and I'd like to nail this one at some point.
20. Build sandcastles - because it's fun yet I never do it anymore.

Here are a few photographs from the marvellous weekend in Tromso. I had no idea I could love a place plunging in darkness quite this much - I adored it from the moment we arrived. And two days before the solstice is a very dark time of year in the Arctic! The water, trees and mountains thrilled me to my core and I could have stayed forever. Except for the cost, obviously.

Looking forward

It's been a pretty rough couple of weeks. Most significantly, my beloved new Vespa, my pride and joy, my ticket to freedom and self-reliance, was stolen from outside the food bank where I was volunteering. I'm heartbroken.
Through assorted coincidences, mistakes, and glitches, I faced the equally devastating news that there will be no insurance pay out and I am not going to be able to have another bike.
This also means no more volunteering in the Food Bank Office, as I can't get there by public transport. That's a blow to me and them both - I'm pretty good at admin. I felt like my insides had been kicked out.

Wallowing isn't going to do me any good.  There are people in real distress in our community, and while loss of a vehicle is a significant dent in a life it's something I can push past. So I am attempting to direct my attention towards more positive things.

I'm 47 years old. In 3 years Mark and I will both turn 50 and we will celebrate our 25th anniversary. Rather than my usual "Things that scare me that I will try this year" list, I'm going to write a list of things I'd really like to do before the end of that big year - not challenging necessarily, but pleasing.

For example, I've never been to Hadrian's Wall. I'd really like to, it sounds cool.  History was my favourite subject in school and actually seeing the things I've only learnt about in books always gives me a thrill. I was ridiculously overexcited the first time I saw the Rosetta Stone (back before the boxed it away in a big case.)

So, like the National Trust's 50 Things To Do Before You're 11 3/4, here's the first 10 items on my list of things to do before 2020:

1. Go fishing. I'm serious. I've been trying to do this for 6 years and it just never quite happens. Mark's promised it me as a birthday present twice, for heaven's sake. I want to go fishing for mackerel and then eat them.
2. See the Giant's Causeway. The first time I saw a picture of it was in National Geographic's kids' magazine, World, back in the mid 70s. I couldn't believe it was real.  I've always wanted to see it, and unlike the Northern Lights is isn't hard to find. Nor, unlike Petra, is it prohibitively expensive to get to.  So I am determined to go.
3. Try salsify and Jerusalem artichokes. Somehow despite 26 years as a vege- or pesce- tarian I've never had them and I want to know what they taste like.
4. Go rock pooling. Not a new experience, but something I completely love to do and rarely get the opportunity.
5. Sing in a choir. Singing out loud with a bunch of people is scary as hell - what if I'm terrible? - but I also think it would be amazing fun. I even know of a choir I could try out for, but previously fear and now my lack of transport conspire against me.
6. Grow cut flowers. I'd like a change from my total vegetable gardening focus to grow some lovely cut flowers for the house. My Very Excellent Mate Kirsty got me thinking about it, and I do fancy being able to have flowers in my room.
7. See live music. I tend to use any money for going out on ballet tickets or comedy. I tend to think of music as not for me, really, because I have terrible, uncool taste and had A Thing about singing badly. I've determined to get past that now.
8. Visit Hadrian's Wall (see above)
9. Spend all day at the movies. Mark and I did this all the while before we had the kids. There are very few films from the mid 80s to early 1999 that I didn't see, excepting scary films. Don't like being scared. Pulling a 3 or 4 movie marathon would be a blast from the past. 
10. Learn to apply make up properly. I only occasionally feel like wearing makeup, but when I do, I feel uninformed. I have favourites, I have skin care standbys I know how to use but I can't do flicky eyeliner, smokey eyes eyeshadow, apply false lashes, prevent lipstick bleeding or do contouring. I'd like to have a clue how to apply makeup that enhances my appearance rather than slapping on a lippy and hoping for the best.

Living The Wild Life

Hello, webby mates.
I am an urban person; a true city dweller. I don't even drive a car. I like all the cultural advantages of living in a city and don't hanker for wide open spaces. Lots of people want to retire to the country; I want to retire to a small flat in London where I can spend my days in the great museums and libraries for free.

My kids are also fairly urban. They aren't remotely sporty, prefer books to forests and would stay inside every minute glued to a screen of some sort if I let them. However, the more time they spend indoors the more ratty and squabbly they get. It can't be good for them. It certainly isn't good for me.

We are lucky enough to have a large garden, and on sunny days the kids play on the trampoline, the swing, and have complicated Nerf Dart battles with their friends. We strong-arm them into helping with the garden a little from time to time and they do love a campfire. But, being the urbanite I am, I'd rather die than take them camping and I'm not terribly proactive about muddy days out.

I thought I could do better. I heard about the National Trust's challenge to kids called 50 Things To Do Before You're 11 3/4. Some things are as simple as running in the rain while others are as hard as learning to ride a horse or canoeing down a river. The National Trust is challenging children to do 25 of the 50 during the summer holidays. We decided to have a go at upping our personal tallies.

The first day we went to Lotherton Hall just outside of Leeds to take advantage of the activities the city council and National Trust were jointly providing. The kids did some orienteering with the compasses available, they baked flat breads and toasted marshmallows on a campfire, made masks based on animal camouflage pattern, pinched apples from the orchard (sorry, Lotherton!) and tasted them (a bit sour... I did warn them. Our own apples will be ready soon) and made and flew kites. And, of course, ran around a lot enjoying themselves.

Shortly afterwards our lovely city council brought its free festival for young people to the park down the road. Stroking the Burmese Python that was visiting from the Exotic Pet Rescue Centre definitely ticked of the "hold a scary creature" challenge! They scrambled over obstacle courses It was a fantastic day for the kids - even my I-Hate-Exercise teen managed to find some fun - a good book in the mobile library and meeting the exotic animals.

My lovely 11 year old then went away with the Scouts for a week, camping near Bristol. His outdoor activity tally couldn't get much higher, and judging by the photos they've posted on Twitter, he couldn't be enjoying himself more if he tried.He may need cleaning with a power hose when he gets back, though.

We headed to Bolton Abbey for a day with the other two. They tried skimming stones - Mark is very good, 14yo is pretty good, Miss B is fairly hopeless but trying, and I am lucky not to murder ducks with my disastrous attempts. 

The big lad got to the very top of a huge old oak tree and discovered it was hollow. Miss B got about 6 feet up before deciding she'd had enough, but both were impressed to discover they could fit inside a hollow in a wide branch and disappear from view.

Playing in the river caused its own excitements. Eventually - inevitably - one of them fell in. I was only surprised it was Miss B, as the big lad had been leaping from stone to stone in a most precarious fashion. However, being soaking wet only added to her merriment, and she walked back to the car park in a state of undress that is part of summer days, kids and adventure.

Having wondered what the point of the day out was when we sprung it on him, the big lad found himself having a fantastic time. Climbing, sliding, swinging on tree swings, rolling down hills with his little sister to 'show her how it's done,' rearranging rocks in the river with her to dam a small area, and generally forgetting he officially Wasn't Keen On That Sort Of Thing.  The pair of them got on brilliantly and we all had a wonderful, if exhausting, day.

Miss B liked ticking things off her 50 Things list so we did some more when her friend came to visit. We made daisy chains, found snails to race, hunted for caterpillars, identified butterflies and got soaked in a brief rain storm.

Despite my comfort zone as a parent being to take the kids to cool events and visit new cities, exhibitions and other town-based activities; despite their inclination to play online games all day they their pals (older ones) and watch telly or bounce on the trampoline with her mates (youngest); we have had some wonderful days getting mucky and tired outside. The kids were noticeably more engaged and cooperative. Mark and I felt better for a day outside but away from the garden chores. All of us just had more fun together. Plus, of course, there are always ice creams.